Sometimes Even The Government Gets It Right

As usual, I am off topic. This is going around the internet again. It is still funny.

Things Republicans Believe: A truthful and sarcastic list

1. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy

2. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

3. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

4. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s and John Kerry did in the 1970s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

5. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

6. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

7. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

8. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

9. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

10. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

11. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

12. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

13. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

battlebob:

A great list - and how true it is - but regarding #3: Why we do leave out all of GWB's business dealings. If GWB had been Martha Stewart, his business deals would have landed him in prison for 60 years instead of 6 months, and then our entire nation would have been better off without him.

Some more funnies. Its been a bad week - and it is only Thursday - so maybe we can use some humor.

Subject: Gripe Sheet
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas's pilots and
the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P= The problem logged by the pilot.
S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midge

last word is midget.

battlebob,

Thanks, I needed that...

This is from big John!

Dear Bob,

Yesterday, we saw a relentless Republican attack on one of our most treasured natural wonders sneak through the Senate on a 51 to 49 vote. But, we also saw more than 260,000 Americans act in less than 24 hours to add their names to our Citizens' Roll Call in favor of protecting the Arctic Refuge.

It was the first time ever that I or anyone else could stand on the Senate floor and announce that, in a day's time, a quarter of a million Americans had gone online to express their passionate support for a given course of action.

That awesome display of grassroots power rattled our opponents. They even railed against my e-mail message on the Senate floor and entered its text into the Senate record. So, think of it this way. The Republican leaders of the Senate have 51 reasons to celebrate today, but you and I have 260,000 reasons to do the same.

If we keep working together - committed pro-environment Senators and a powerful grassroots movement all pulling in the same direction - we can still stop the plan for drilling in the Arctic from making it the rest of the way through Congress. And we can win the larger battle over two very different visions of America's energy future.

George W. Bush and the Washington Republicans have a plan to sell off our public lands to powerful special interests. As a result of their ruthless drive to undermine America's most beautiful natural treasures, the oil rigs are closer to the Arctic Refuge than they have ever been. But, the Bush administration's own scientists and economists admit that the Republicans' plan will not make us less dependent on foreign oil and will not lower prices at the pump. We have to put America's energy future in the hands of Americans - by inventing our way to real energy independence and having energy sources that create jobs and lower prices.

With your help, we will continue to wholeheartedly resist their special interest-funded partisan agenda. And, if we act with the same energy and determination as we have on this critical Arctic Refuge vote, sooner than later, our power and commitment will carry the day. I know you will be with me every step of the way and I thank you for the passion and energy that you bring to our work together.

Sincerely,

John Kerry

P.S. I told you that more than a quarter of a million people signed our Citizens' Roll Call in the first 24 hours after we launched it. Actually the news is even more impressive. As of this moment, there are over 400,000 signers to our Roll Call, including tens of thousands who signed after the vote to express their determination to keep fighting. Let's keep working.

A Couple of Victories in the Senate Today

We are fighting an uphill battle in the Senate, but with a little faith and some hope, we can always look to find something to light up the darkness. We had a few of those lights shine today in the Senate that we should take a moment to be thankful for.

The Smith-Bingaman Amendment passed today by a narrow margin, but it’s heartening to see some bipartisanship in a stacked leadership. The Smith-Bingaman Amendment strikes Bush’s proposal to cut $15 billion from Medicaid funding. The Smith-Bingaman Amendment was co-sponsored by John Kerry. In a statement today about the amendment, John Kerry said, “We won an important victory today for Americans who need a voice in Washington. In a bipartisan vote, the Senate stuck up for the poor children, pregnant women, seniors and people with disabilities who are served by Medicaid.”

AP News reported that “The Senate delivered a slap at President Bush and its own Republican leaders Thursday by voting to erase his plans for cutting Medicaid, community development, school aid and other parts of next year's $2.6 trillion budget.” On NPR a while ago I heard that the passing of this bill definitely puts a damper on Bush’s plans for having it his way.

More - http://www.lightupthedarkness.org/blog/default.asp?view=plink&id=572

Posted by: Pamela at March 17, 2005 09:24 PM

What a lovely thing to read before I logged off for the night, thanks Pam this was a smile I have been needing!!

Here is a petition worth signing. It highlights something our government is not doing right:

The White House is using your tax money to produce pre-packaged, ready-to-serve television news segments promoting the president's policies. Join thousands of people like me who are telling Congress, the FCC and local broadcasters to stop government propaganda. It only takes a few moments to send this important message.

Visit www.freepress.net/act/fakenews

Empty Boots on the Ground in L.A.: Eyes Wide Open
17 March 2005

A poignant reminder of the human cost of the war in Iraq is currently on display in Los Angeles…

"A stunningly simple memorial -- 1,519 pairs of boots -- on display in Southern California this weekend provides a reminder of war's human toll.

Eyes Wide Open, the American Friends Service Committee’s exhibition on the human cost of the Iraq War, is a traveling display. It features a pair of boots representing each U.S. military casualty.

"They're very young guys -- they hardly even started their lives," said one visitor.

It also features a field of shoes and a Wall of Remembrance to memorialize Iraqis killed in the conflict. A multimedia display involves the history, cost and consequences of the war.

Some of the boots are the same worn by men and women who took their last steps in Iraq.

"I see soldiers in each one of these shoes," said another visitor.

Many of the boots have items, such as newspaper clippings and personal possessions, attached to the laces.

"I see a lot of families," a woman said. "I see grieving mothers."

MORE - http://www.lightupthedarkness.org/blog/default.asp?view=plink&id=575

Posted by: April at March 17, 2005 11:41 PM

April

Between a few small victories in the Senate today (actually the Medicare was large) and the news that over 400,000 signed JK's Arctic Refuge Petition we habve a couple of things to smile about tonight.

I'm glad I helped!

Democrats for Wolfowitz
Senator Joe Biden isn't the only Democrat supporting Paul Wolfowitz for president of the World Bank.
by Stephen F. Hayes
03/16/2005 4:10:00 PM

TODAY SENATOR JOE BIDEN, vice chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and a leading Democratic foreign policy voice in that body, voiced strong support for Paul Wolfowitz as President George W. Bush's choice to head the World Bank.

Biden described Wolfowitz, currently deputy secretary of defense, as a man with an "active and fertile mind" who believes in the work of multilateral institutions. Asked for his reaction to the selection, Biden responded with one word: "Solid."

http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/005/363ubjiw.asp

http://tinyurl.com/58fvw

Which party does this Guy really belong to the way he is voting lately you would have to think he is republican

Short savages Wolfowitz nomination
5.48PM, Thu Mar 17 2005

Former International Development Secretary Clare Short has savaged the nomination of Paul Wolfowitz as head of the World Bank.

Ms Short said President George W Bush's decision to put forward his hawkish Deputy Defence Secretary - to take over from James Wolfensohn who steps down on June 1 - was like showing "two fingers to the world".

Mr Bush has described Mr Wolfowitz, 61, as a "compassionate, decent man" but Ms Short told Channel 4 News: "This is really shocking. It's as though they (the Americans) are trying to wreck our international systems.

"They have nominated a man with no record on development who drove the Iraq war and in the Pentagon was responsible for Iraq after the war - and that is a complete and absolute disaster, the worst post-conflict situation we have had in the world for a very long time."

Ms Short continued: "Europe should stand together and say no, sorry, no record on development, not an acceptable candidate.

"They are playing games with us putting a hard-nosed hawk into the World Bank just when we are all saying we are all going to focus on poverty and development. It's like two fingers to the world.

"I think this is a real test of Europe. If Europe accepts this then forget your multi-polar world, forget Europe balancing America, the American empire can do what it likes."

The nomination also came under fire in the Commons

http://www.itv.com/news/world_2081891.html

Whats new isnt that what he has alway done two fingers to the rest of the world

Dear Operation Truth Supporter,

As a loyal OpTruth supporter, we wanted to give you advance notice of a groundbreaking report that will be issued this weekend by Operation Truth. The first-ever review of the war based
entirely on feedback from the Troops, an "After Action Review," will be published on our website this Sunday.

WHAT: Read It Straight from the Troops: "After Action Review"
WHEN: Sunday Morning, March 20th
WHERE: Our website, www.optruth.org

Operation Truth has combed through hundreds of stories submitted by our Veteran members and organized them into an After Action Review, examining what has gone well, what has not, and what needs to change. The report is straight from the Troops, unedited and uncensored.

We want you, our supporters, to read it first and tell your friends!
Thank you for continuing to support the Troops.

Sincerely,

Paul Rieckhoff, Iraq War Veteran
Executive Director
Operation Truth

The Republicans love to tell us government doesn't work. Then THEY get into office **** (please keep it clean. thanks)things up, and it is a self fulfilling prophesy.

Rosiann,

For the time being this nomination is seen as "disturbing", and a "cold shower" after Bush's PR tour in Europe, and is undergoing "observation".

That's the polite stuff, but the ressent is BIG.

http://www.lefigaro.fr/international/20050318.FIG0117.html

Strangely it happened while Europe is fighting about an ultra liberal law about sevices, that would end up to social dumping. On one side you have our "bushies": England, Poland, the Balt counties.., and on the other one : Germany, France, Spain, Belgium who want to protect the social gains.
The first ones only see Europe as an open market with no social rules, the seconds emphasize on a more humane culture, and the fight is big about what Europe wants to be!

Found while scrolling around the internets this morning:

March 17, 2005, 4:02 PM PST
John Edwards: Podcaster

He didn't get to be vice president but the former Democratic candidate plans to start regular podcasts.

"Next week John Edwards will participate in an exciting new medium: podcasting. He will answer your questions and update you on his family and projects. Do you have a question for John Edwards," reads the promo on his Web page.

Guess what he hopes to be doing come November 2008.

Posted by Charles Cooper

http://news.com.com/John+Edwards+Podcaster/2061-12_3-5624107.html?part=rss&tag=5624107&subj=news

"A poor choice for the world bank".

This is what the rather conservaive Financial Times writes. Read about what the European reaction should be.

http://news.ft.com/cms/s/da59203e-9755-11d9-9f01-00000e2511c8.html

Just a reminder at what Wolfowitz's idea of Democracy has brought the people of Iraq.

A Haircut in Iraq Can Be the Death of the Barber
By ROBERT F. WORTH

BAGHDAD, Iraq, March 17 - It was almost closing time in Sadiq Abdul Hussein's barbershop when a man in a black mask walked in, pulled out a pistol, and began spinning it on his finger, cowboy style.

The gunman was not after government officials or American collaborators. He had come because of the way Mr. Hussein cut hair.

Within seconds, the masked man opened fire, fatally wounding Mr. Hussein, 23, who lived long enough to describe the attack. The gunman also killed his partner and a customer.

In southern Baghdad, the hazards of life have come to this: gangs of militant Islamists are warning barbers that it is haram - forbidden - to shave men's beards or do Western-style haircuts. As many as 12 barbers have been killed, Iraqi officials say, including five in one day in late January. With little hope of police protection, most now refuse to offer the offending cuts, and have placed prominent signs in their front windows saying so.

On a recent afternoon, a barber who gave his name only as Ahmad stood over a customer, scissors in hand, glancing nervously out the front window of his shop. One of the two leather barber's chairs sat empty, and on the walls were mirrors and photographs of handsome young men with glistening newly cut hair, as in any Western salon.

"One morning about three months ago I came to the shop and found a handwritten note with a bullet," he said.

The note warned him that it was forbidden to shave men's beards, or to do facial massages or the French-style haircuts known as the "carré" and the "spiky." The note also warned him not to offer hiffafa, the Iraqi practice in which barbers use a length of thread to pull out the small hairs on the face and give a closer shave. If he ignored the warning, he would be killed, the note said.

The killings and threats are not the first efforts in Iraq to enforce a Taliban-style religious rule. In Falluja, armed mujahedeen ran an Islamic police state for several months before the American invasion last year, punishing beardless men and any women who dared to go out with their heads uncovered. In southern Iraq, Shiite militants have attacked liquor stores and sometimes killed those who ignored their threats.

In Baghdad, the killings and threats have been concentrated in Doura, a working-class neighborhood dominated by the four towering smokestacks of a power plant. Even in the generally lawless capital, Doura stands out as a war zone. At least a dozen police officers and government officials have been killed there in the past two weeks, usually by gunmen who drive up and spray their target with automatic weapons fire.

With so much violence, the police in Doura say there is little they can do to protect the barbers. They have investigated a few cases, and have found that some of the killers appear to be professionals who are paid as much as $200 a hit, said one police official, who refused to give his name out of fear that he would become a target. "The police get paid $140 a month," the officer said. "You need money to investigate these cases, and we don't have it."

At the main Doura police station, there is only one phone line, and it is unreliable, he added. Virtually the only information the police get comes from victims' families, who call or even walk into the station to tell their stories.

Sadiq Abdul Hussein's killing, which took place on Jan. 23, was unusual in that he remained conscious for 24 hours before he died, and he was able to describe the attack in detail to the police. "There were four men involved - two in the car outside, one watching on the street, and the killer - and there were witnesses. Nevertheless, the police say they have made no progress in the case.

Safa Abdul Hussein sat with his son through his last hours in the hospital.

"He said to me, 'Dad, will you help me?' " the father recalled. "I said, 'God will help you.' " The son - who had always been devoutly religious - then raised his hands above his chest and prayed, Mr. Hussein said.

Mr. Hussein, a 53-year-old welder whose beard is flecked with gray, broke into tears a few times as he told his son's story, burying his face in his hands. He sat wearing a gray welder's jumpsuit on a couch across from his wife and daughter in the family's small living room in Doura, a few blocks from where his son used to work.

At the hospital, doctors told Mr. Hussein that three other barbers in different parts of the city had been killed on the same day his son was killed, he said. There may well have been other killings, police officials say, but no one has the resources to keep count.

"I think these people are terrorists because the Koran says nothing about it being forbidden to shave beards," Mr. Hussein said. "This is not jihad. Jihad is defending your country, your honor, your faith."

Mr. Hussein, a Shiite Muslim, said he believed the killing might have been part of a broader campaign against Shiites. He said he was especially grateful that Sunni neighbors helped to arrange a funeral procession for Sadiq in Doura, some of them firing AK-47 rifles in the air as they walked down the street, in a common Iraqi custom. Mr. Hussein, a former tank commander in Saddam Hussein's army, had been afraid to hold a public celebration.

Even now he lives in constant fear. No one in Doura even dares to speak out against the barbershop killings: "There is silence about this in the mosques," Mr. Hussein said.

As he told the story of his son's death, an AK-47 rifle leaned near him against the living-room wall.

"The man who shot my son, do you think he would hesitate to kill me?" he asked.

Other barbers in Doura are frightened, too. On two recent trips through the neighborhood, many shops were empty, and most had signs in front saying they did not offer the offending cuts and shaves, which are very popular among Iraqi men.

Customers know about the threats, and no longer request beard shaves or anything of the kind, said the barber who gave his name as Ahmad. It has hurt business. His monthly take has gone from $300 to about $100, he said. Some barbers have closed up shop.

As for Safa Abdul Hussein, he has sworn to seek revenge, if he can find the man who killed his son."He broke my heart and I will break the heart of his father," he said. "I will not leave him alive even if I must bring heaven and earth together.

"There is a price to be paid for this: the Koran says an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."

Mona Mahmoud and John F. Burns contributed reporting for this article.

OH, oh, this is new !

Wolfowitz is having an affair with an Arab feminist of the World Bank!

Isn't that, that brought former Boeing CEO to resignation some weeks ago?

http://news.ft.com/cms/s/da59203e-9755-11d9-9f01-00000e2511c8.html

Will he undergo the same treatment or shall we hear again "Do as I say, not as i do"?

Sorry, I attached the wrong link. This one is by the Washington Post.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A45449-2005Mar17.html

Wolf on love, gee!

Posted by: rossiann at March 18, 2005 06:34 AM

If Biden keeps saying stuff like this, it may be time to remind voters of his Neil Kinnock moment.

Wolfowitz is this decade's Robert McNamara. Both were behind wrong-headed, badly conceived wars, and both ended up at the World Bank as their reward.

That doesn't say much for the credibility of the World Bank, does it.

Only in DC does incompetence get you a promotion.

Cyrano,

It's not the word incompetence that comes first to our minds abroad, it's arrogance!

The good old Bush policy goes on in order to reshape the world according to his vision of "imposed democracy".

I strongly suspect that the barbers and liquor store owners who have been murdered in Iraq over the past two years would be alive today if Saddam and Uday were still in power. What does that say about the plan that Wolfowitz and Rumsfeld developed to impose Democracy on Iraq?

Democracy is an organic process. You could impose it out of the ashes of WWII since both the German and Japanese people had been soundly defeated – the ringleaders either killed or incarcerated, and a majority of the remaining population (in Japan, with the Emperor setting the example, and in Germany, with the shadow of Nazi crimes hanging over all) understandably embracing the project.

The Iraq people were never defeated. They cannot understand why they should submit to the wishes, however benevolent they might be, of an invading power.

Elections do not guarantee democracy. Elections can often be the prelude to civil war - as was the case with the Election of 1860 here in the United States.

Cyrano

Very good to read! I'm currently reading "Naked in Bagdad" by Anne Garrels of NPR and it's very eye-opening. It gives alot of background on the preparations people in Iraq made when they felt they had no say and that war was inevitable.

When Saddam first started with the secular regime, the literacy rate was high and women were well educated. Things were fairly progressive in Iraq. Gradually he became more corrupt, power-hungry and tyrannical, putting down Kurdish and Shiite factions to keep the Sunni Baaths in power. Things got much worse during the Iran/Iraq war - half a million killed and the war went on for 10 years! The lst Gulf war destabilized Saddam but we also left a situation where he could brutally put down the Shiite rebellion as we left a vacuum. We also killed 55,000 people in a very short time, including many civilians. A decade of sanctions really turned the screw - people died because of lack of medical supplies etc. That is said to be over a million, mostly cildren. The dinar currency became virtually worthless. The Iraqi people have been through so much. & they are no longer very secular - many have turned to religion out of desperation. What we will do for that country now - will it have been worth it? Does it ever make sense to bomb much of Bagdad in 1991, then again in 1998 and then again in 2003?
The Cradle of Civilization? Do many Americans even care?!

Just the other day, Scott McClellan said again "We have to fight the terrorists over there so we won't fight them here." I think that is an evil thing to say - he doesn't define who he is talking about or where. It incites racism and hate and encourages the ignorant to draw false conclusions about a monolithic enemy that will come in the night & get their children.

Time for a REVOLUTION...again!! Wait for more regulations and relevations. Ooops, I forgot the thugs in POWER are the ones that detest gov't.