Father at the Center

Thanks for doing this Fe. I want to publically recognize my dad as one of the most charitable, caring and nurtuting people I know. He taught me that hard work ( he is a retired medical doctor) is not an end in itself, but can be rewarded not just financially but also by the satisfaction of doing good for others. He continues to provide for his brother who as a Korean war veteran continues to suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and is unable to support himself. At eighty four years old, he continues to participate in book clubs, discussion groups and regularly attends concerts and operas. He swims nearly everyday.

When I was a kid, he always did whatever he could to support my interests and activities. As a family, we would take nearly month long camping trips. It was on those trips that I discovered America. Each trip was dedicated to a different region, and we would stop at EVERY historical marker and point of interest. I been to every state in America except Alaska. One year my mom was not up to making the trip, so my dad who loved the trips took my brother and I to northern Canada. We had a wonderful time together and it is something I will never forget. One of the things I learned from my dad is that it is not quality time that matters so much, it is the quantity.

I also want to add that my dad was a victim of the great depression - he grew up in a shack (literally) and got to where he is by working his butt off and never giving up on himself.

Happy father's day to all our special fathers and grandpa's here.

Fe and Oncall, you're father(s) sounds like a special man.

My dad is not with us today, but he also survived the depression. Half his family was lost in the Haulacost. He served in WWII. He was 'pro-Isreal' but never would have supported the neocon's hawkish views that gained Bush a few votes here and there.

He had a GED but he valued education. (Frankly, he wasn't thrilled with the homeschooling.) But he would cringe to see what NCLB has done to something that he valued so much.

Off topic, and I don't know if Frank Rich is a father or not. I hope you get to read his op-ed in the NYT. He articulates much better than I can why the Dems are getting their hats handed to them.

Here is a snip:

On the war, Democrats are fighting among themselves or, worse, running away from it altogether. Last week the party's most prominent politician, Hillary Clinton, rejected both the president's strategy of continuing with "his open-ended commitment" in Iraq and some Democrats' strategy of setting "a date certain" for withdrawal. She was booed by some in her liberal audience who chanted, "Bring the troops home now!" But her real sin was not that she failed to endorse that option, but that she failed to endorse any option.

Like Mr. Bush, she presented a false choice — either stay the course or cut and run — yet unlike Mr. Bush, she didn't even alight on one of them. This perilous juncture demands that leaders of both parties, whether running for president or not, articulate the least-disastrous Iraq exit option that Americans and Iraqis can rally around. Time is running out. The new Brookings Institution Iraq Index cites a poll showing that 87 percent of Iraqis want a timeline for American withdrawal, and 47 percent approve of attacks on American troops. A timeline does not require, as Mrs. Clinton disingenuously implies, an arbitrary "date certain" for withdrawal.

While the Democrats dither about Iraq, you can bet that the White House will ambush them with its own election-year facsimile of an exit strategy, dangling nominal troop withdrawals as bait for voters. To sweeten the pot, it could push Donald Rumsfeld to join Mr. DeLay in retirement. Since Republicans also vilify the defense secretary's incompetence, his only remaining value to the White House is as a political pawn that Mr. Rove can pluck from the board at the most advantageous moment. October, perhaps?

http://select.nytimes.com/2006/06/18/opinion/18rich.html?th=&emc=th&pagewanted=print

(If anybody knows a way to view this link without having to pay, please share.)

Oncall,

I saw that article. At first I disagreed. But then as I thought about it, I realized that he's right! There are so many stories that would touch people that they could connect to a policy.

But they don't.

Whoever gives them advice stinks at it. Like the vote on the nonbinding Iraq thing. They played right into Roves hands!

My God! I think they should have taken a stand. One at time, gone up to the mic and said, "Our troops need armor, humvie, and a cease-fire. This election year ploy is b.s."

Then they should have parked their butt on the mall with a picket sign and brought Congress to a standstill.

They could complete the picture with the soldier's battered shoes, poorly designed helmets, and photos of the stinky humvies etc around them. Then called America to their side.

Ok..so it's theatrical, but at least it stops Rove's game!

My dad was born in South Dakota, the oldest of seven. His grandfather homesteaded there and I still have a book of his poetry. His father was State Superintendent of School and wrote a book called "South Dakota: From Old Muddy to Black Hills."
They were all Democrats, every generation.

My dad was always obsessed with music from the time he was born, especially from the Big Bands. He belonged to the Pierre South Dakota Drum & Bugle Corps and later was in the US Army Band in the South Pacific. He got kicked off a bus in Little Rock, Arkansas for refusing to sit separately from his black musician friends. I have a photo of him standing with a bunch of musicians in New Guinea - he is holding a saxophone. In the background are a bunch of topless native women, watching.

He met my mother in a music program. She had big brown eyes, perfect pitch and could play ragtime with both hands by age two. Her father was an Irish tenor & her mother was a piano-playing school teacher. Needless to say, my parents both majored in music and became music teachers in the public schools (K-12, vocal & instrumental). When they weren't teaching, they were giving piano or guitar lessons.

There were 4 of us. We grew up listening to music and had a family band. My mother preferred classical but my father was "long-eared." We didn't have alot of money so he'd send for mail-order sets where you got to keep one volume if you returned the others within 30 days. He had "Best of the Roaring 20s," "Best of American Folk Music" and so on.

When I was 7, he was music teacher at the South Dakota State Training School for juvenile delinquents. One of his pupils was Buddy Miles, who went on to drum for Jimi Hendrix' "Band of Gypsies." He also created a fallout shelter in the basement of the bandroom. He always had to follow the news, and wouldn't miss it, even if he had to watch it on a tv in a store or knock on the door of a stranger's house!

We spent alot of time in music stores. The owners would open up after ours and my parents would pick out all the band music for each year's students. Of course, we all played in the band, sang (at school & at home) & by the time I entered college, I already had a huge record collection. Even now, I have over 700 CDs and over 2000 LPs, over 5000 mp3s. It's crazy!

My dad's last teaching job was at an Indian reservation. There was a high drop out rate & he noticed that the kids were motivated enough to stay up til 2 AM when they prepared for powwows. He taught both Music & Art, so he decided to let them incorporate things from their culture. For that, he was fired.

Eventually, my dad retired from teaching as it was too stressful. He had depression from the war, severe enough to require several VA extended visits, including electroshock. He never stopped playing, singing, going to hear musicians. He developed an interest in jazz guitar.

His last job was a janitor in a high school in North Dakota. He had early Parkinson's disease and my mother worried alot when he was up on ladders alone, especially since he worked the graveyard shift. The school did have a pool, and he would swim in the nude. He even sent photos!

At his funeral, my brother and I made a photo display and handed out copies of an autobiography he typed, even with his Parkinson's disease. Next to one photo, we had a quote of his, which was about Jimi Hendrix (he went in halves with me on my first Hendrix album too!)

My interests are music, drawing, photography, politics and travel. The amazing thing is that those were my dad's interests, and as I get older, I am starting to look like him more!! I am also very close to my uncle, the one I mention alot, who reminds me alot of my dad. He also lives on through my siblings, especially my brother. Some of this is genetic, some if from environmental exposure, but it's strong. I married a musician and my son plays 12 instruments and has recorded 6 CDs!

Oncall:

Thank you so much for the verbal portrait of your father. I recognize the thread of love and leadership so clearly. And also the pride you feel for him.

In some ways, I think I still have that hunger for father, but instead of manifesting it as a projection on someone else, it makes me want to do good things in the world. I think that makes me a grown-up.

DiAnne:

What a line you come from. Now I understand the voracious hunger for musical and visual experience that I have noticed about you.

Your gene pool is full on the right-brain side, my girl. And you continue to bring more art into the world, through deed and family. What a family!

Sparrow,

I think that the Dems think too much before they even utter a statement. I have not seen too many "speak from the gut". That can get one into trouble if they are not careful, but I was totally amazed how Ann Coulter was able to rally Republicans around her "message" after she slandered the families of 9/11. I am not advocating slander, but I am suggesting less pontificating and more strident language may be able to carry a message further and wider. Jack Murtha seems to be out there all alone with his message. Why is that? Do so few Dems agree with him or is it politically incorrect to publically agree with him and say what he has been saying.

The Dems are falling into the same routine that hurt them in 2004 - not articulating their convictions in an emotional and politically combative manner. It hurts them and makes them appear weak. Speaking of fathers many of us can admire our fathers because they seemed so courageous and strong as we were growing up. We have not seen that attitude (for the most part) by the Democratic leaders. Frank Rich nicely describes how Hillary's stand is unwinnable, because it is not a position of principle nor strategy. The other day, at work, I was talking with a woman whom I was sure supported Bushco. All it took was for one of us to say how screwed up things had become (I was talking about health insurance with her) for me to realize that one doesn't have to be a news junkie or blogger (something this woman definitely is not) to agree that our country is in worse shape since Bush was elected. People are not falling for the lies any longer, and I have to agree with Christy's position from several days ago that it is about time that the Democrats - EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM - says without hesitation, that Bushco is a bunch of liars who have harmed this country. Until they do that, they will snag an election loss from the jaws of what they believe is an inevitable election victory.

"Speaking of fathers many of us can admire our fathers because they seemed so courageous and strong as we were growing up."

Boy are you hitting the nail on the head. One of the underlying themes I want to touch on is the need for courage, principles, and strength. We WANT that from our leaders.

Right or wrong, the Republicans have been able to capture the country's imagination, leading the narrative with the theme "Strong", "Decisive", "Courageous", while Democrats are "weak", "indecisive", "cowardly".

Last weekend at Yearly KOS, Senator Reid exhorted us to de-bunk the myth of Democrats being the party of indecision. I think, first it could start with us finding the leader inside to let our party leaders know we want THEIR voices back.

And also, to keep broadcasting to subvert the MSM Republican noise machine when they do.

Fe,

That's just it. Reid says we need to call on the leaders to tell them to get their voices back? That's utterly inane!

THEY must call on us to support them. They need to speak and earn our trust and prove that they're tough enough.

Oh..Like Stabenaw..once again, she took the safe pass instead of standing up for the troops. Heck, how easy could it be to grab the statistics of their equipment problems, number of deaths, number of casualties, etc and not budge until the Republicans cry, "YES, WE'LL WORK ON THESE REAL PROBLEMS!"

THEY must call on us to support them. They need to speak and earn our trust and prove that they're tough enough.

Posted by: sparrow at June 18, 2006 02:31 PM

You're absolutely right. Reid did not ask us to help them get their voices back. He wants our support as they go out there and speak their minds.

I would like to see more of what Jack Murtha did today on "Meet the Press". He came right back at Karl Rove's attack, as Russert had set up. No dithering, pondering. Just straight out said they were ridiculous. Russert actually liked it. Murtha gave some good red meat.

Fe, DiAnne oncall, and others,
thanks for your lovely stories. My dad was also wonderful-- , also a New Deal Democrat who grew up in the Depression, decades ahead of his time in terms of women's issues, among many other things, always learning and growing to the end of his days.He worked hard, always, but he was always there for us. He found joy in his work and his family . And you could always feel the love. And my mom was his equal. I carry this gift of my parents in everything I do.
On Thursday (June 15, 2006) , Wriiter's Almanaccarried a lovely poem,"Off the Record", by Ron Wallace, on memories of dads. I'm afraid to break copyright rules by reproducing it here, but you can access it at http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/, then click on Thursday (June 15), to see it. Be sure to look for June 15 , not today.

oncall and sparrow,
Like probably everyone else on this blog, I share your political frustrations, but, don't rely on Frank Rich too much for political guidance. I've enjoyed my share of Frank Rich columns, but I've also come to find his cynicism poisonous (when was the last time he ever said anything GOOD about ANY politician? I honestly can't remember). I heard him give a talk once, and, especially following the smug cynicism of his speech, he lost me forever, when , in the Q and A , a man asked, with eloquence, and passion, what had happened to the press in the last decade, why werent't journalists taking on the Bush administration, what had happened to investigative journalism, why wouldn't the press look into vote fraud, where was our so-called "free press" during this crisis in our democracy? .. all the questions we all keep asking ourselves. Rich's answer was a self-satisfied defense of the NYT as corporate entity. His answer to another impassioned question about informed voting, political participation, etc? "People are busy", he said. (I almost walked out at that point, but was hemmed in, in the middle of a row)

Rich can be good at seeing what's wrong (though I'm coming to think that his cynicism warps even his analyses), but don't look to him for any solution. Frankly, after hearing him at that speech, I've come to think of him, and people like him, as part of the problem.

Yeah, do make people like Stabenow live up to their promises, but do also take the time to thank, to help, and to vote for, those Democrats who have the guts, the passion, and the sense of responsbility to stand up and be counted. This is not an easy task for these guys in this poisonous political atmosphere, and , at minimum, they deserve our moral support and thanks for fighting for our democracy, against both political and journalistic odds. People like Murtha, Conyers, Waxman, Kerry, Kennedy, Feingold come to mind. . .

As a genealogy researcher, I am deeply touched by the tributes to your fathers....

PLEASE, every one of you, copy and paste your tributes to your fathers into a regular document, share the information with your extended family, your children and/or grandchildren... and get the info to your family genealogist (if you have one). Don't let your blog post be the only record of your tributes. Ditto if you've done any tributes to your mothers - or grandparents or anyone else in your family. Genealogy researchers thrive on information as eloquently written as your tributes. (And, don't forget to give the genealogy researcher the dates and locations of birth, marriage, and death while you're at it.)

My dad was also a product of the Depression (as was Mom); his father was a Swedish immigrant, and his mother descended from colonial English Quaker and colonial Dutch stock on her father's side, and her mother's line descends from Alsatian immigrant. Dad's mother was a well-known midwife in the community; she delivered some of the people in my genealogy database, including some of my cousins, her grandchildren (not my brother or I; we were born in a hospital). Dad was one of eight children to live to adulthood. My brother and I attended the same grade school he and his siblings had attended.

Dad had the warmest brown eyes of anyone I've ever met and his eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled or laughed; and it's from him that my brother and I inherited our brown eyes and dark hair - and our silver-gray hair now that we're old. Dad was also one of the kindest human beings who ever walked the planet, and when grandchildren were born into the family, he was the best, most patient and loving grandpa possible, playing with and reading to the grandkids, engaging them in conversation; he was amazing with toddlers, whether grandkids or nieces and nephews! He was always working, working, working, and he worked very hard all of his life (various jobs, plus farming).

My most vivid memory of Dad is after dinner, sitting in 'his chair' reading newspapers or magazines or books. Although he didn't have an education beyond eighth grade, he was remarkably well-read, but because he had not gone to high school, I suspect he was self-conscious about his lack of formal education, so my brother and I faced his mantra of education, education, education; "You've got to have a good education!" is permanently etched in my gray matter. While Dad occupied his chair and read every evening, I occupied another chair in the living room, also reading. I attribute a lot of my love of reading to my first-through-third grade teacher, but with a father who read incessantly when he wasn't working at a job or working in the yard or around the farm, I came by my love of reading naturally, from both Dad and Mom. Mom also read a lot, and both my parents and my brother and I all had the habit of reading at night in bed before going to sleep.

Throughout my childhood and adolescence, Dad never once shouted at us kids, nor spanked us. On rare occasions when we tried Dad's patience, he had one tone of voice I heard only a couple of times that meant doom if we didn't straighten up rather quickly; he had no need to shout. Many years after Dad died, publicity about cruel and abusive fathers started emerging. I was aghast when a friend told me about abuse he'd suffered at his father's hands, and I'm afraid I just listened with my mouth agape in horror. I'd never experienced such cruelty, couldn't even begin to imagine it, because in my youth I assumed all fathers were as nice as my dad. Dad was as solid and dependable and honest as the day is long, and also as patient and gentle and kind as it's possible for a human being to be. Dad's been dead for 31 years, and I still have odd moments of missing him dreadfully. If Dad had a fault, it was that he was rather taciturn and didn't talk much. (And although my parents never talked politics much, both Dad and Mom were life-long Democrats; they'd be horrified if they were alive to see the situation in this country now.)

So, if I rant and rave about the evil I see in The Cretin and the people in his administration, it may have something to do with the fact that, by comparison, I really do know what a kind and generous and warm and loving and honest man is like from personal experience; my father was such a man. True, no one can stand up to the comparison of my father; by turns I remember him with the adoration of a little girl who has been comforted while crying on Daddy's shoulder, to appreciating his rock-solid honesty and dependability as an adult daughter acknowledging her father as another adult - when I became an adult, Dad never treated me like a backward child; for that I'm grateful.

But I get it; I get the difference between the good men of this world, and men who aren't good enough to be used as rugs to wipe off dirty boots of a hard-working, kind, ordinary - and honest - man like my father. In a world of uncertanties, that's one thing I know with absolute certanty.

So, here's to the loving memory of my dad (the 'Bestest Daddy and Grampa in the whole wide world'), and to all the good men in this world who would favorably compare to Dad.... You are very rare gems to be appreciated because your genuinely moral lives were just honestly lived; you simply and consistently, without fanfare, did what is right, no matter what....

Posted by: Fe at June 18, 2006 03:49 PM

I loved Jack Murtha.

We need them all to be Murthas.

MBH,

We have to fight then nonsense that those people are not mainstream. If people actually sit and think about what they want in life, and what policies would help them, then if you took that info and translated it to a name...those are the names you'd see.

It's just that they don't get past the corporate lies.

(arrghhhh)

And glad to hear your words about Rich. I thought the same thing at first. (Easier to critisize than to actually follow through.)

Posted by: mbk at June 18, 2006 03:54 PM

mbk,

You are probably right about everything you say about Rich. However, just because the messenger isn't all he is cracked up to be doesn't mean his message couldn't be right.

Each time the Dems - everyone of them - says Buscho has lied has to us also say, and we have the plans to fix it. Without having a coherent position about Iraq, a message like that will be laughed off and rightfully so. Hillary Clinton's statements are the best example of cynical politics. I hope most Americans are seeing through her pandering.

The person who can best communicate, "they lied, here is the plan I have and I have the support of my colleagues" will be the Democratic nominee. However they have to get their message through to the people. And that just isn't happening. Unless all Dems can agree with the premise that Bushco lied (and not be afraid to say it), the Dems will not have an alternative for the people to look to. The candidates themselves have to articulate their plans so that they gain some type of traction. For that to happen they have to take chances. Some have and most haven't.

Follow up to above. Not only do they say Bushco lied, they can also say, "It is Bushco who doesn't have a plan.". I know they are saying that, but Dems get too bogged down when they try to make their point. Often time they will recite details (as if they are in a debate) and the main message doesn't get to the audience. Are they to blame entirely for this problem? Obviously not, and the media are guilty of dereliction of duty as a signifiant contributing factor to this problem. I just want to hear one Dem say this about Karl Rove, "You know just because a husband isn't charged with cheating on his wife, doesn't mean he didn't do it."

OKay rant over.

Posted by: mbk at June 18, 2006 03:54 PM

I'd like to add another name that comes to mind: Boxer.

Excellent rant. I agree. That's why my rant on the earlier post was made. I want all of them to walk out of there and say the long withheld words, "They are lying to you and they have no plan but to waste time on your money..."

My father is from another generation, older than my grandfather (my mother's dad), and when I was young, most people took him for my grandpa.

I didn't see him all that much when I was little, because he believed, with his generation, that the man of the house showed his love for the family by working and being the breadwinner. (He made a good deal of money but wasn't too good at actually shepherding it into the family bank account...but the intention was there.)

My childhood memories of my father revolve around religion and music. He took me to church every week and taught me to save the shiny change to put in the offering plate. He helped me memorize endless Bible passages and taught me how to pray in public. He sacrificed to ensure I was educated at a religious school, partly to honor the legacy of his own father, who did the same for him. Sometimes, if I could encourage him to clear off the organ bench, we would hold evening vespers in our own house, complete with booming and blaring and reedy pipes echoing from our living room.

He was also the "Music Man", in more ways than one. I would squeeze up next to him on the organ bench at numerous weddings of unknown couples and church services of other faiths to turn pages for him. He patiently accompanied me at recitals, and for good measure, all the other students as well. And as a high school music teacher, he made sure to cast me in all of his musicals. I grew up acting and singing and dancing and cast-partying with kids 10 years older than me as though they were my best friends.

When I was in sixth grade, my parents split up. It was really tough for my dad and I saw probably too much of his brokenness and vulnerability. But the breakup also meant I spent long stretches of time with my dad, just us. It was a blessing. My father and I became very close in those next few years. He volunteered to drive my friends and me everywhere and was instantly our hero for it. I guess it was good he was chaperoning us, now that I think of it, but we wer just glad for a chauffeur. He knew when to play along and when to hang back. He started to lose his hearing in certain frequencies due to all the elementary band squeakers and the pipe organ tweeting but when we whispered in the back seat, he heard every word.

A few years back, my father had a sudden and unexpected health scare. I drove many hundred miles to see him immediately and the sight of a tired, white-haired man wrapped in flimsy cotton gowns and hooked up to bleeping and blinking machines in the ICU set me back. With an older father, death always lurks in the shadows, but I hadn't really faced it until then.

I had brought my guitar and Bible and I took my dad through an evening vespers service like the ones he'd led me through as a child. He faded in and out as I sang the songs and chanted the prayers he once taught me. Then I read from 2 Kings 20:

"In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And the prophet Isaiah the son of Amoz came to him, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live. Then he turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the LORD, saying, I beseech thee, O LORD, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore. And it came to pass, afore Isaiah was gone out into the middle court, that the word of the LORD came to him, saying, Turn again, and tell Hezekiah the captain of my people, Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the LORD. And I will add unto thy days fifteen years."

And I took my father's hand and cried and prayed aloud and reminded God of all the good my father, broken and imperfect as he may have been, had done for others, and of all the good he had left to do for the kingdom while still on earth. My father, approaching 80, was still going on mission trips to build churches, still teaching Bible study classes, still mentoring and loving young children who desperately sought a male role model, still savoring time with his grandchildren, somehow atoning for the years lost with the children he left behind. My father was full of love and life and hope and I begged God for more years so he could finish his mission: my father's work on earth was not yet done.

When I opened my eyes, my father was asleep, peaceful in the midst of that whitewashed chaos, and I kissed him and drove back the several hundred miles to make it to work again by Monday.

And by some miracle, God decided that maybe my father did have a few more things to do for the kingdom, and eventually my father returned to health, and still goes strong, giving to others and sharing his joy in music and in God.

I can't see my father as much as I'd like these days, but we email back and forth often, and he updates me on his latest world travels and intrigues. I am still humbled that God was willing to give up a few years with my father in heaven so all of us could benefit from his presence here on earth a little while longer. And all of my father's extensive network of friends and colleagues will find him easily when they reach the pearly gates someday: he'll be the one playing the organ for the heavenly choir...and in between numbers, gathering up all the kids on his lap to hug them and make them feel loved.

Thanks for sharing that with us Fe, it was rather timely for me, because my daughter and I lost Steven, my husband and her father this past Wednesday, June 14th.

Some of you might remember me from the Kerry campaign site, I volunteered on the blog and forum, but couldn't participate in traveling to help with the campaign because of my husband being so ill, requiring a transplant and needing me at home to care for him. Even had I not been so familiar with John Kerry's record as he was a senator from a neighboring state, the research I did before deciding who to vote for taught me enough that I knew he was the right man for the presidency. I was as active online back in 2000 supporting Al Gore, because I was afraid of what a George W. Bush presidency would mean for my then still healthy, fairly newly diagnosed husband. In '04, everything I'd feared thus far had come true and time was of the essence for people like my family.. the issues, especially health care were paramount. A Bush administration's appointees to OSHA and the Department of Labor, which would impact citizens access to protections under the Americans With Disabilities Act for example.. another is the fact that since Bush got into office, elderly and disabled people with only medicare have a much harder time getting appointments with the specialists that can be so critical in treating and diagnosing serious illness. When my husband lost his job, and his health care, he was dumped by his specialists.. he hadn't had a Gastroenterologist since 2001.

Just a bit over three weeks ago my husband was admitted to the hospital as the diuretics he took for fluid retention had stopped working, and we were assured he'd been in hospital for a few days at most while the problem was taken care of. Within a few days after some tests they found that he had an advanced case of lymphoma, called Burketts-like which is extremely aggressive. He'd never exhibited any of the more advanced symptoms, but had he been able to have a gastroenterologist, most likely this would have been caught in time.

He lasted only three weeks and died at 4:15 AM on Wednesday, he was only 51. He was a wonderful husband and father, he lived long enough for his daughter to graduate college.. but he'll never have the chance to watch her get her Masters degree, get married or have a child.

I know that there are far too many people suffering and even losing their lives before their time because of the policies of the Bush administration and the republican majority. Too many children who are growing up under No Child Left Behind will be left behind permanently because of the gutting of aid to education and will lead lives of suffering and privation.

This has to be stopped and soon.

Mary:

I am so very sorry for your loss, your family's loss. I can only hope we provide some comfort of this community, because you should know our hearts are with you.

For Father's Day I took my husband to the 2nd day of the Fremont Solstice Fair & ended up buying him a Violin!
That's in addition to the autographed Tom Tomorrow cartoons
book I got at Yearly Kos & the Russian nesting dolls that have
all the Russian leaders.

Wanna feel old?
Paul McCartney can now sing "When I'm 64" and realize that he actually IS!!

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/article1090205.ece

Noam Chomsky's advice on Iran
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/story/0,,1800659,00.html

Now what can be proposed about North Korea?!

This is just too upsetting!

'Wash Post' Obtains Shocking Memo from U.S. Embassy in Baghdad, Details Increasing Danger and Hardship

By Greg Mitchell

Published: June 18, 2006 6:20 PM ET

NEW YORK The Washington Post has obtained a cable, marked "sensitive," that it says show that just before President Bush left on a surprise trip last Monday to the Green Zone in Baghdad for an upbeat assessment of the situation there, "the U.S. Embassy in Iraq painted a starkly different portrait of increasing danger and hardship faced by its Iraqi employees."

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002690071

Posted by: Mary from RI at June 18, 2006 08:46 PM

Mary,

I'm so sorry! Words just can't express it. (((hug)))

A GREAT Father's Day - my kids called me (for a change); my step-Son called me (who has done two tours on Afghanistan); and his girlfriend called me. Life is good.

ABQ--Happy Father's Day to a great Dad!!! I've seen you in action, and it is good.

As for ny father, he is 84 and still agile in his mind, although it takes him a while to get around. He is vague, but he was always vague; there were thoughts rattling around his head that amused him no end. I see the same thing in my son.

But the Dad I call first on Father's Day is my wonderful husband, who spent today with his beautiful daughters. He is a hero and he knows why I say that.

To all the DCP dads, and to all the dads of the DCP--love and thanks for all you bring to this effort.

P.S. We cast FEAR UP this weekend. It was wonderful to have so many brilliant actors to choose from--we could have double-cast it! Rehearsals begin July 12 in NYC, and rewrites begin immediately. Telling these stories and agonizing, as we do here, about what we can possibly do about them--that is what the play is about.

I hope to be sharing much of that struggle here as we learn more about it through the rehearwsal process. The DCP is producing the piece, and we have an opportunity, over the next few months, to introduce audiences and performing artists to the online community here. Please keep an eye out for new folks who may have questions, and for reports from the rehearsal studio.

I invite each of us to contribute (remember the paypal button is up there on the left) and to post ideas here or email them to fearup@democracycellproject.net.

We still need PR and marketing help as well. Contact me if you have ideas.

The stories still move me, and anger me, and resonate through me, even though I have heard them many times--the actors brought them to life in new ways. Think about joining us in NYC for one of the performances--dates will be up here soon.

I am so impressed with this article!

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/6/18/10521/5585

And in case you missed it, here's an article about African American's being scrubed by the GOP

http://www.cincinnatibeacon.com/index.php/news/comments/bbc_blows_the_whistle_african_american_voters_scrubbed_by_secret_gop_hit_li

Posted by: sparrow at June 18, 2006 11:17 PM

I will bet nearly anything that the story in Sparrow's post NEVER gets coverage by the mainstream television/radio media (Bushco Propaganda Machine). Hell, if somebody dropped this story in Chris Matthew's, Sean Hannity's, John O'Reilley's, Larry King's or Rush Limbaugh's laps, they would just bury it and/or never mention it. It is a sad day for freedom of the press when a foreign coutry's news team does the work and discovers how corrupted our system has become.

Mary - sorry for your loss... At least your husband was around to support your daughters through college, be thankful for that.

I hope all the fathers in here had a wonderful Father's Day.

I actually had a good, intelligent talk with my own father regarding politics, unions, and so forth. He's been as loyal a W supporter as anyone could count, but even he is feeling skeptical with W's incompetence now, which allowed for this wonderful, intelligent Father's Day conversation. Sure, he still thinks Republicans will fund the military better, and he still worships the fascists that had ruined his Korean homeland (and provided a great role model for W's "unitary executive" theory), but at the current pace, he'll see the truth soon enough. The key will be to continue having intelligent conversations.

For someone brainwashed by 30+ years of Republican propaganda from the US military commanders (first at US Army Corps of Engineers, then as a military contractor), my father still has an ability to reason, and that's something I can be thankful for.

It is a sad day for freedom of the press when a foreign coutry's news team does the work and discovers how corrupted our system has become.

Posted by: oncall at June 18, 2006 11:56 PM

That is part of the argument for reading foreign press daily.
Google WORLD first, read the headlines - check several news sources. I think it's essential. Julian Borger of The Guardian has done excellent coverage of the US political system for at least 3 years. The Independent is excellent. Canada has some excellent coverage, Australia. There are English-language versions of papers from the middle east, Pakistan, India, China, Thailand,etc. They cover a broad range of the spectrum, from left to right, but the brilliant thing is that they are NOT Americans, so may possibly escape some control and bias.

I think the American media system is interesting & probably necessary to study & to change, but I don't think it's a good place for getting news any more. Am glad for TruthOut, Alternet & other news-gathering sources, blogs that keep up, but there is nothing like a perspective which actually comes from outside the country.

The other thing about world press - there is so much misery that our news glosses over, such as the situation with the Tamil Tigers, East Timor, the whaling industry right now etc. Even during the Vietnam war, there was a big discrepancy between US & Canadian coverage - my friend's parents (who were British originally) explained it to me in terms of Canada NOT being a superpower.

Bushco Propaganda Machine is a good thing to call MSM TV/radio. I have read that NPR & PBS funding from the government is under threat, but truth be told, the government does not provide much of their funding. They are mostly "listener-supported." I have upped my contributions to NPR and anything else that needs money which I use for a news source. There is also alot of streaming media, such as BBC. It's a sad day when Voice of America seems no more biased that alot of the rest of the media. When I was a kid, it was like Radio Free Europe, an overt propaganda arm.

I have said many times (& people probably get sick of it), but I quit watching tv in 1991 during the First Gulf War. They were showing killing and it looked like a video game. They used new terms like "precision bombing" and "collateral damage." I was horrified and realized it was propaganda. I have never gone back.

When I was in Las Vegas, I picked up some resources for developing independent television along the lines of Air America. I'll have to drop the links on when I dig that stuff out again. It looked promising. I also want to mention again http://www.goodstorm.com - if you have any ideas for bumper stickers, t-shirts, independent films etc - you can have them distributed by them and keep a large chunk for your organization - that is my understanding. I look at IndyMedia from time to time - it's a mixed bag because it's not peer reviewed by completely anarchic as for what can be published - true democratic grassroots journalism. What I like though is coverage of local events & the links to IndyMedia branches all over the world.

I spent a long time in academia (1970-1984). One thing I studied alot was the idea of "bias." I believe that television news as we currently view it in this country is "framed" in such a way that the media determine what at the important stories, rather than the actual relative importance of the events themselves. Therefore, a celebrity baby may eclipse a killer earthquake or a "Mission Accomplished" stunt may distract from atrocities in our name. When you are scanning around & getting your own overview before delving into detail, you can avoid some of this inherent bias, I think.

I spent some time listening to Rick Steves this weekend (the travel guru), when he appeared with Congressman McDermott. He had alot to say about our media, the fearmongering by the government & how it's used to control & the impression others now have of us in other parts of the world, plus how much freedom & liberty has already eroded in our country in a very short time.

FBI says, it has “No hard evidence connecting Bin Laden to 9/11”
“Bin Laden has not been formally charged in connection to 9/11.”
By Ed Haas
"In the case of the 1998 United States Embassies being bombed, Bin Laden has been formally indicted and charged by a grand jury. He has not been formally indicted and charged in connection with 9/11 because the FBI has no hard evidence connected Bin Laden to 9/11.”
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article13664.htm

A Plea for Net Neutrality
By Charles Sullivan
The supporters of the telecommunications bill making its way through Congress are shameless promoters of predatory capitalism and they should be impeached.
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article13672.htm

How US hid the suicide secrets of Guantanamo :
As despair grows within the camp, so too does outrage mount at its brutal and secretive regime
http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article13671.htm

Taunted and jeered, Bolton bolted :
Amidst a rising chorus of taunts, jeers, hisses and outright denunciations, Bolton was swiftly surrounded by his entourage of three American security agents and whisked out the door of the seminar room at Oriel College on Friday, the 9th of June.
http://tinyurl.com/otb3u

new five minutes---see front page!

Mary from RI,

I am so sorry for your loss. Please hold onto the wonderful memories. It sounds like there are many.

And I'm honored as are we all that you thought to come here to share your news with us. Sending ((hugs)) and healing thoughts your way.

dwahzon

Posted by: oncall at June 18, 2006 11:56 PM

Exactly!!!

Disorder in the House
by Warren Zevon

Disorder in the house
The tub runneth over
Plaster's falling down in pieces by the couch of pain

Disorder in the house
Time to duck and cover
Helicopters hover over rough terrain

Disorder in the house
Reptile wisdom
Zombies on the lawn staggering around

Disorder in the house
There's a flaw in the system
And the fly in the ointment's gonna bring the whole thing down

The floodgates are open
We've let the demons loose
The big guns have spoken
And we've fallen for the ruse

Disorder in the house
It's a fate worse than fame
Even the Lhasa Apso seems to be ashamed

Disorder in the house
The doors are coming off the hinges
The earth will open and swallow up the real estate

I just got my paycheck
I'm gonna paint the whole town grey
Whether it's a night in Paris or a Fresno matinee

It’s the home of the brave and the land of the free
Where the less you know the better off you'll be

Disorder in the house
All bets are off
I'm sprawled across the davenport of despair

Disorder in the house
I'll live with the losses
And watch the sundown through the portiere

Thank you sparrow, Dianne, dwhazon, there were many wonderful memories and my daughter and I are working through the grief one day at a time. We were able on Father's Day to remember them with some smiles and light laugther despite the tears.

Ally, I am grateful for every day I and my daughter got to spend with him, he was a wonderful man. My reason for posting about this on the blog is because there are too many other families like mine who are slipping/have fallen between the cracks, given the economic realities alot of them lack a voice on the internet. I've long been concerned about the voicelessness of the most powerless on the internet medium. I also have been greatly concerned about the focus on single issues over the wider group of issues. We are all human beings and when we allowed ourselves to be so easily divided, we allowed ourselves to be that much weaker. We cannot overcome anything approaching the Bush/right wing machine if we cannot overcome our minor divisions and quite truly, there are some on the far left who are as infused with the "let them eat cake" mindset as the right wing.

A true grassroots movement cannot come about if it's solely comprised of the grasstops. The voices and issues of the poor and middle class need to be encompassed in such a movement.. otherwise said movement doesn't deserve their votes.

Posted by: Mary from RI at June 18, 2006 08:46 PM

Mary, I also am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with you about Medicare being a mess, and place blame squarely on the shoulders of the present administration (including our very own reps - they have let us down). Medicine is big business, a brilliant doctor told me twenty years ago, and if it saves your life, well, you are one of the lucky ones.

My mother has been very seriously ill. We almost lost her twice this month because, due to current Medicare practices and changes in her own health insurance plan (my parents have what used to be excellent coverage under a city funded top insurance company).

She has a myriad of problems physically, but had an excellent doctor for 15 years who had a handle on her needs and care - she is a very complex case. That doctor quit his private practice because he could no longer afford his own malpractice insurance.

Between my mother's insurance company and medicare, she no longer can be admitted to the hospital by her own physician, but is required to go to the ER and wait to be seen by the ER doctor on call (has taken as long as 8 hours at a time, with her being very, very ill each time) before being admitted to the hospital. The on call ER doctor has to examine her and admit her now. She also has five different kinds of specialists who treat her, and no one to act as her own medical doctor, so the specialists fight among themselves, most of them wanting to cover their butts on the charts by treating her the way that looks best for them, and they are constantly changing her care from day to day, depending on which specialist she saw that day. It's like a circus. She almost bled to death last week because one specialist had thinned her blood too much. It's an awful hassle, and to say it is life threatening is an understatement.

Thank you, Mary, for sharing your story with us. My prayers are with you and your family.

I have spoken of my father on this blog before, but I was lucky enough to be with him this Father's Day.

He is my hero.

He is the gentlest, most responsible man I have ever met.

He has cared for my ill mother as her primary caretaker for 15 years, and at 89 is still going strong - his mind as quick and sharp as ever, and his gate, although slowing a bit and faltering a little, is sure and steady and determined.

Words cannot describe how much I love him.

This Father's Day he had all his 5 children and many grandchildren around him, as we had a big BBQ and family get together.

He is amazing.