« Will Getting Down on Our Knees Stop Climate Change? | Main | Meet Tom Fiscus »
The Superbowl of All Political Debates!! The Preview!! The Hype!!
Does it seem to you like the CNN/Republican You Tube debate over-hyping is a bit over the top? And by over the top, I mean it's become just like the Superbowl, only with less interesting commercials and no possibility of millisecond nipple flashing?
Okay, the absence of republican nipple flashing is something to praise, not decry, but still.
Today, we will hear hype constantly, no doubt. Every major blog site I have clicked on today has had a macromedia flash drive ad to hype the event.
First we had the pregame show last night, in which CNN reporters talked about how important they think that 'real people' will be tonight, and how it's going to be blood sport right from the first question. I'm not sure which I find more offensive--the fact that they think that bloodsport means that some political good will surely follow, or the de facto insult that "real people" are somehow this magical breed that they have just dicovered. In a diner. Somewhere in whitebread middle Amerka.
I imagine The Beard will be doing an all CNN/Republican You Tube Debate Show, all the time, in the Situation Room.
Lou Dobbs will probably not take a break from his half-drunken hysterical immigrant bashing to talk about it, though if he does, he will likely want to ask if any of the candidates think we should tar and feather all brown people before, or after we throw their filthydirtypublicserviceburdening asses in jail.
Then more of The Beard offering us a chance to hear every candidate's spin doctor's pre-game spin.
And then the Big Shew itself, which is billed to resemble something along the lines of "The Worst of Crossfire Meets The Worst of American Gladiator".
No doubt, every candidate will talk about how they will kill as many A-rabs as possible in order to keep America safe, while failing to notice that the A-rabs just bought a rather large stake in the American economy by taking a huge position in Citibank yesterday. Whatever.
We can also be assured that the candidates will pander to the pro Blastocyst-Americans lobby, while firmly positioning themselves as being against the services and education for children who are already alive and likely not doing so well. I can't explain why they do this. Maybe they see increasing the population of future poor people as a de facto recruitment tool for the increasingly difficult-to-find bodies they will need to sacrifice in their Glorious War on Everything. Call it the pro-life, pro pre-dead lobby.
Ron Paul will be hailed as "the Howard Dean" of the Republican Party. And no one will recall what the media did to Howard Dean.
Mike Huckabee will appear sane. And no one will ask him questions about his website statements on eliminating ALL taxes.
All of the candidates will be struck with mass amnesia over the person and presidency of one George W. Bush.
And sadly, no one will ask my favorite question: If you could go back in time and abort Osama bin Laden, would you?
Also sadly, no one will ask my favorite question because it will be deemed "too political". "Too political" to be asked at a political debate. Got it. I would need to ask about something more substantive. Something to do with haircuts/cleavage/earthtones/cackling will suffice.
After the show, we will have Larry King on with the village punditocracy who will tell us what to think about what they think we heard, or should have heard, or something like that. Regardless of what the candidates actually say, the narrative will still be, "Republican Strong on National Security, Democrats Still Pussies Who Need To Worry About Being Pussies".
I've noticed that Democratic Pundit concern trolling about the Democrats is alot like listening to someone's ex-girlfriend tell the new girlfriend what to watch out for from the old boyfriend, cause, you know, she's just trying to be super helpful. Sadly, the new girlfriend will believe it.
There will be no pundit concern trolling from the Republican pundits, who they will likely not have on, because on television, people will be able to see the specks of spittle flying from their foaming rabid mouths.
Then Anderson Cooper will have two full hours of the same crap as Larry King, only with less gossip, and a more intellectual patina to the pre-determined narrative. They won't actually call the democrats "pussies", but will likely make some euphemistically equivalent portrayal of the democrats position which will also ignore facts and history. Larry King has the pundits. Anderson Cooper will have the poseurs.
And then there's tomorrow's all day coverage of narrative regurgitation to look forward to.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Does anyone else find it disturbing that we are electing a President much in the same way that we used to choose Miss America, complete with the
And how long will it be before Britney Spears sings the national anthem before the debates, and we have a full on half-time show?
Sadly, I fear, not long. And Modern American Journamilism will continue to narrate a wished-for reality, embrace all that is factesque, publicly copulate truthiness and The Nutshell of All That Is Rancid And Corrupt With Modern American Journamalism will only grow in order to contain the ever-growing number of nuts.
Just. Kill. Me.
16 Comments
Leave a comment
Not registered? Click on 'Sign-in' above and then select 'Sign up' in the lower right corner. Don't forget to click on the link in the confirmation email that will be sent to your email address.
I'm not planning on watching the debate. I leave the fun for you!
Luckily I will hear a tiny summary while driving to work (NPR) and maybe read a few newspaper and website commentaries.
I really simply hope that this election the Independents vote Democrat.
There are more of them than of either party.
I just read that over again - it's really funny! ;)
This is one of the all time best DCP thread headers. Casey is on a roll here.
That said, I missed the debate tonight. Anyone want to share?
I watched the debate.
it was full of surprises. I was surprised to find a bunch of white guys running for president who are arguing about who can kill the most A-rabs and scare the living crap out of the most brown people, are Republican.
Shocking.
If you want to know what happened, read the my preview above.
Shorter version of my prediction and the debate: Nostradamus meets Nosferatu.
Story they will all be reporting like sixth grade gossip girls on tomorrow's CNN regurgicast? The Rudy and Mitt smackdown, which they will report, was over immigration, but was actually over the finger pointing about who rich people can hire to do shit they don't want to do. Hiring Black people for little or no money-good. Hiring Brown people for little or no money-bad.
The real story tomorrow, much to the chagrin of Mike Huckabee and Ron Paul, will be Rudy's Shagonomics: The Interesting Accounting Stylings of Charging Obscure City Offices For The Security For The Adulterous Hamptons Booty Calls.
Ya want a sample? Ya got it: Admittedly he only charged $10,000 to the people with disabilities fund. Chump change for the shag fund. But the office charged with getting counsel for indigent defendants got stuck with $400,000.
I gotta say this about Rudy--between Kerik and the Hampton Shagfests, the guy has the nerve of a world class jewel thief stealing the diamond from a sleeping virgin's chastity belt.
Casey, I agree with Karen. You're definitely on a roll!
I can't quite make myself feel guilty for refusing to watch the Republican debates. But I hope for all of you who did that you played the drink game at the same time.
In the meantime, if you buried your head in the sand like me, check out litergator mom's diary at kos.
Karen,
I read somewhere that Ron Paul said that he'd make sure a law was created to charge women who get abortions with murder.
That statement alone just took him out of the running for me.
So lets see...women who were raped, get pregnant, have an abortion are charged with murder in that side of the aisle. People who lie, cause wars based on lies, drop bombs on people and kill them, make others shoot people with depleted uranium bullets--based on the original lies, rape and kill women and, shoot depleted uranium into the bodies of pregnant women are not charged with anything...? (I'm not talkin' about the soldiers here.)
So...Good bye Paul...my little case of "maybe I'll vote for you" is gone now.
Amazingly, Casey, you turned out to be correct:
updated 2:56 a.m. ET, Thurs., Nov. 29, 2007
ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - Republican presidential rivals Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney scornfully debated immigration Wednesday in a provocative, no-holds-barred CNN/YouTube debate just over a month before the first votes are cast.
Giuliani, the front-runner in national polls, accused Romney of employing illegal immigrants at his home and running a "sanctuary mansion." The testy personal exchange came after Romney said Giuliani had retained New York's status as a sanctuary city while he was mayor.
Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, said it would "not be American" to check the papers of workers employed by a contractor simply because they have a "funny accent." He had landscapers at his Belmont, Mass., home who turned out to be in the country illegally.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22006536/
See Tonight the Constitution Died
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/11/29/0183/4888
Someone held up a Bible and asked if the candidates agreed every word was true and no commentator did or said anything, but it's a violation of the Constitution of the US to require a religious test for a political candidate.
Sparrow
Abolishing the FBI, IRS and most of the rest of the government plus being a Republican also takes Ron Paul out for me. He's just an interesting nutcase.
At least Ron Paul is a nuts job that lives his nutty convictions.
The rest of the parade of bigots and misogynists are just hypocrites.
Republican Debate:
A contest -
who hates Mexicans/illegal aliens the most???
While still benefiting handsomely from their presence?
sparrow
Ron Paul is why neoliberals are NEVER to be trusted, even on their supposed "forte" - personal freedoms.
I have yet to meet a so-called libertarian who supports women's rights.
All the American neoliberals I've met are white men - or formerly men.
sparrow and karen - ditto what they said, Casey.
I got past the obligatory "who hates the Mexicans" the most questions - as you can see below the first 30 minutes of the debate was wasted on who hates the Mexicans the most - and some questions were quite good (meaning hard to fudge on the answers - and right to the heart of the matter). In fact, many of the questions were far, far better than the tame, timid, insider-trivia questions from the two CNN reporters during the Dem debate.
There were 33 questions asked in total. Here are all of them listed;
and there were some real zingers (Confederate flag, gun question, torture question, bible - do they believe in "it"... etc..)
1.GOP Debate Song
2.Will you make America a 'sanctuary city' country?
3.Will you pledge to veto amnesty for illegal immigrants?
4.With immigration reform failing, will I have a job?
5.Lower college tuition rates - military families or illegals?
6.Do you believe in a conspiracy to make a new union?
7.What measures will you take to tackle the national debt?
8.What are the top three federal programs you would cut?
9.Do you support a 'Fair Tax'?
10.Will you pledge never to raise taxes?
11.Will you eliminate farm subsidies?
12.How will you keep lead-laced toys out of my home?
13.What is your opinion on gun control?
14.Do you believe in a required written exam for gun ownership?
15.How many guns do you own?
16.What will you do to reduce crime in the inner cities?
17.If abortion is illegal, what should the punishment be?
18.Would you sign a federal abortion ban?
19.On the Death Penalty, what would Jesus do?
20.Do you believe every word of The Holy Bible
21.How would you repair the image of America?
22.Is waterboarding torture?
23.Will you make a permanent commitment to the people of Iraq?
24.Is your campaign exploiting 9/11?
25.Should Vice-President Dick Cheney have so much power?
26.A gay Brigadier General asks a question
27.Do you accept the support of log cabin republicans?
28.Repay the $2 trillion borrowed from Social Security?
29.What is your vision for human space exploration?
30.Why don't many African-Americans vote Republican?
31.What does the "stars and bars" flag represent?
32.How can we repair the infrastructure of America?
33.Mr. Paul, are you going to run as an independent?
Romney did poorly, I thought, his answers were calculated, calibrated and not authoritative. Romney was slapped around by McCain (on torture), Giuliani (on illegal aliens), even on the bible question Romney's answer looked weak, unsure and unconvincing. Paul, very effectively, rebutted McCain on Iraq. Paul knows his stuff on foreign policy and McCain looked less informed.....