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Why We're Leaving
When did we know we had to leave?
Certainly the first indication was right before the 2004 election, after a year-plus of working hard, 24X7, to elect a smart, good, thoughtful, honest man to the White House. Richard and I were sitting in the car on the Sunday prior to election day. He hesitated before turning on the car. "I have a bad feeling," he said. "I have a sense that in churches all over America, people are being told to vote for Bush."
My mind reeled. I had been operating under the assumption that the good guys would win this time. I was much more concerned about what would happen to us WHEN John Kerry and John Edwards were elected. I was concerned because I genuinely respected and liked very few of the folks who were high up in the campaign at that point in time. It seemed to me that they were spending more energy on casting themselves in key roles inside the White House than they were in actually winning the hearts and minds of voters. Few of them seemed to even like or respect John Kerry himself. My concerns were split: that Richard would not find a place of integrity inside the new administration and/or that he WOULD and we would have to hang out with these sleazebags for years.
My concerns were unfounded, his were not.
It was on November 4, 2004 that I found the website for homes in Canada. There was a converted church listed, and it sat on the water, serenely overlooking lapping waves. It was open; it had flow and history.
I looked at the church until it disappeared, then noted when it returned, and then when it returned again.
Meanwhile, the political insiders who made up the bulk of our social lives split up and found camps to join: the MoveOn folks, the policy organizations, various NGOs, Media Matters, the Campaign for America's Future, etc., and, of course, various campaigns. We had a difficult time with all of the organizations; having begun the Democracy Cell Project, we found ourselves competing with much larger and sexier communities. No one believed in the power of a few knowledgeable and motivated folks to change the world, despite Margaret Mead's oft-quoted belief in that possibility. But most significantly, no one believed in the community management skills we had honed over the course of the Kerry Blog. What they did believe in: scaling, page views, market share.
We had nothing to offer on those fronts. Having worked in an atmosphere of the high-touch interactions, and having spent a lot of time and energy on learning how to shift perceptions and manage difficult people, we were uninterested in either the circle jerk of insiders or the ATM machines-for-change that were set up. We proposed helping the Congressional Progressive Caucus build a community and they passed. We advised the Kerry people on how to utilize the loyal supporters they had and were more-or-less ignored.
But we noted that both the Obama and Edwards campaigns were picking up on aspects of what we had promoted, and that felt validating.
As the Clinton campaign got rolling, we watched them make mistake after mistake, online and off. Our friends who were working there were uninterested in our perspectives, and that was OK. The message back to us was that we were a little quaint, under-informed, and possibly disloyal.
We went to Nova Scotia and visited the church, for sale again. it was old and needed work, but the perspective, the water, the distance from insanity, felt marvelous. We made an offer. A few minutes later, another offer came in, without our conditions. We lost the church.
In the past four years, we have also worked with many grassroots, on-the-ground organizations as well: Code Pink, the World Can't Wait, the Backbone Campaign, AfterDowningStreet, etc. We have found a number of folks who truly believe in right action and the inspired moment. Our political insider friends are disdainful about right actions and inspired moments; they believe in data and rolodexes.
Lately, since losing the church as an escape option, watching the activists lose court battles, face, and sometimes heart, and smelling the decaying roadkill of the presidential election, we have come up with a new plan.
A friend once told us of friends of theirs who had fled Nazi Germany. "How did you know when to leave?" they were asked. "It's not that we knew when to leave, but at some point, you realize that you must leave, and then you look for the opportunity to leave."
I have thought about that quote often in the past year. Our insider friends stopped calling us long ago, and the events I have attended that were put on by those organizations, the campaigns, the gatherings, etc. have been tepid enough to convince me that they are not being effective. The Clinton campaign, which has taken a very very bad turn of late, has managed, with more cooperation and less insight than we could have imagined, to drag several of our friends into sordid situations, some of which have become public. The loyalty argument has evolved into something that appears to be even more Mafioso-like than that of the Republicans, which, if you think about it, is stunning and horrific.
Our activist friends are frustrated as well, realizing that Obama is better than Clinton, especially as her campaign's tactics and strategies emerge as ever-more-desperate, but that a President Obama cannot evolve the country back into a true democracy, or even a decent Republic, in any real time. Protests are small and ineffective, actions alienate those trying to move incrementally, incrementalism is slippery.
The blogosphere is equally fragmented, civil discourse is increasingly scarce, management of message is disingenuous and highly controlled, and the progress towards the Democratic nomination is sporadic, random, and without enough soul or heart. We search for truth in piles of manure, sift through crap to find nuggets of hope and vision. Meanwhile, gas is up, food sources are down, jobs are gone, and people are frantic.
We have a beautiful house. I have a very good job. My work is meaningful and useful. Richard's work is truth-telling and has integrity, something few around us can say, but which allows him to sleep better at night than they deserve to. So why are we leaving this house?
We cannot afford to stay. It is that simple. It's not that we are persecuted, like our friend's friends were under the Nazis. It's not that we are unpatriotic or disloyal, as some would say. It's not even that we are so discouraged that we must crawl away to a distant place to lick our wounds. We are not frightened, we are not retreating from battle.
We're just out of resources, and the struggle for resources is draining us from doing the work we know needs to be done. The most valuable resource we have is the house; it is in a great location and now, with a new paint job and a yard sale this morning to eliminate excess material goods, it might sell quickly and at a price high enough that we can take the opportunity to do the right action.
For us, we are thinking that we will buy some land and build a solar house. We will write about it. We will continue to observe the struggle for democracy and to offer advice when asked, when compensated, and when we can help others be effective. But we will not be enmeshed, close observers of the debacle. There are things we already wish we did not know, and we will not have to know about the new ones. This, we hope, will free us to write about the things we do know, and which need to be shared.
The selling of our house provides us the opportunity to leave. It is the moment to take the opportunity.
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Cross posted on Kos:
Dear Karen and Richard,
Like you, I feel wounded by what has happened to this country. We may be wounded but we are not beaten. Together we have a sense of purpose. I am personally grateful to the both of you for being such inspirational leaders. Though your comments suggest frustration, always know that there are some of us who had absolutely no exposure to the politics of persuasion and activism until we were touched by your inspiring deeds. I am always grateful for the guidance that you demonstrated during especially difficult times.
You both have been an inspiration to me as I found myself accepting the fact that I had a role to play within the larger community of progressives. You inspired me to learn and read more about politics and the individuals who have shaped a generation. I have been made more aware that we have been left to repair the devastation wrought on this country from a movement that gained power in the late 1970's.
Your sincerity of purpose will always be the primary influence which I will depend upon. Your devotion to what is good will help guide me as I try to understand which path is the best for me. You may have felt ignored, but I don't think you know how much you are admired.
I wish the both of you the very best in your new adventures. I wish the both of you the very best of health. You are blessed. We are grateful.
Karen,
I left the following comment on your DKos diary:
I'm not saying this to cut down on KarenDC, who is a good friend of mine.
It's just that for me, leaving is not an option, because given my background, any country willing to take me in is nuts at best.
I moved to the US from South Korea, as a child during the Reagan era, PRECISELY because my parents were the right-wing nutjob types that Reagan desperately needed. This was in the late 1980s, when South Korea was being democratized, student and labor union activism were finally legalized, and the fascist government's supporters, including my parents, all feared that these activists would sell the country out to the North Korean Communists.
And it's the same South Korean fascist government that gave Reverend Moon to the US, and it's the same fascist Korean-American community that gave John Yoo and many other Christian/homophobic/racist nutjobs to the American society.
(FYI, the South Koreans put the fascists back into power this year, after blaming the fascist party's crashing of their economy on the 10 following years of leftist rule. They are also trying to shove down a free trade deal with the US without your knowledge and approval. NEVER, EVER buy another Samsung or Hyundai product again.)
Any country that wants to take in ANY of this Korean-American madness is itself mad. That includes Canada under Stephen Harper.
As oncall says, a movement hijacked the American society about 30 years ago.
It was funded by Reverend Moon and the fascist South Korean government.
If and when the US becomes sane again, it must declare war on South Korea. Moon's actions are an act of WAR and must be responded to.
I will be more than happy to enlist, and personally deliver a nuke to Lee Myung-Bak's head.
Karen and Richard, you are both amazing people. And like oncall, I am grateful to you both for all the work and people that you have introduced us to and shared with us - I'm a relative newcomer to the fold.
These are incredibly depressing times we live in and the time comes eventually when we have to sit back and hope that the majority of Americans DO register to vote and make sure that their votes count in November.
Wherever you go, you will take with you all that is worthwhile in life and share that amongst your new friends and neighbours. I wish you every success.
Karen & Dick,
Thanks so much for everything. If it weren't for y'all, I probably never would have gotten involved with grassroots politics like I have in this election. It's precisely because of marching in protests in DC and listening to tales of frustration in your living room that I finally realized that the tactics of the previous generation - which were so effective in their time - wouldn't work today.
But I still believe so ardently (and perhaps naively) in the American Dream, in our incredible history, in the arguments and compromises of our founders, in the unexpected successes we've created from the most embarrassing of historical problems. I believe in the melting pot. I believe in the American philosophy - unique au monde - that no matter who you are, who your parents are, where you came from, how much money you have - if you work hard, get educated, apply yourself, you too can create a better life for your children.
It's hard to believe in this when I see the harsh reality of corruption and media distraction and corporate whoring all around me. And I guess maybe time will wear me down too. But I'm not ready yet - it's what keeps me calling, and canvassing, and hosting complete strangers in my house, and traveling to other states, and bothering people at a fair or festival or parade to make sure they're registered to vote and they know where to go on polling day - even if they don't share my political beliefs.
I want my Constitution back and my Bill of Rights, what I've sworn to protect and defend against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
I respect your incredible dedication, both of you, and I wish you the best. I'm just not ready to move on yet, myself :)
V,
We love you for that! It has never been our intention to say to any of you, please stop what you are doing; it is futile. We do not believe what anyone of you is doing is futile.
We do wish there were more of us doing it. And that is where each of us must continue to focus our efforts. Just because we are choosing a simpler, less stressful and more sustainable lifestyle does not mean we are giving up.
V, you have such a great can-do attitude. It makes a difference. Each and every thing each of us does matters and makes a difference.
Moving on takes many forms; our version means geographical and attitudinal changes. After that. who knows?
Karen and Dick,
I can only echo what everyone has said: if not for you, I would not have gotten involved in the Kerry campaign and everything else political since then. I admire you both so much for the dedication you have shown. You have made a difference to so many of us, and so many others.
I only hope that you will find peace and contentment with this move, and that you will still come here to the DCP and visit us once in a while. 'Cuz we wouldn't even be here with out you!
Good luck with it all, and keep us posted!
Richard/Karen:
So you all are going to Nova Scotia??? That sounds nice. If I hit the jackpot here in the oil patch one of these years that's about where I would go too. My wife would probably prefer Houston though (or the south of France or the Italian Riviera). God Bless You and all the best. It's been a long and interesting haul. Thank you so much for all you have done over the years. I know this blogging stuff is new, but in this brave new world sometimes, for some of us, it is the one way we have been able to connect with people in a way that lets us feel we are not alone.
All the best!
Chuck in Houston